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The Fight: Part 3 - Remorse And Regret
Posted by Brian @ 06/16/2002 10:01:25 AM

Obviously this challenge didn't work out exactly how we had planned. Out of all the various mishaps of the evening one thing bothers me the most. Try and follow me on this one - they wouldn't let us fight three man, but the had no problem forcing Ralph to fight without any break? That just doesn't make any sense to me. If the three of us were in the ring it would have just been 3 rounds of nonsense. No one would have gotten seriously hurt. On the other hand they did put Ralph in danger when they made him fight me while completely exhausted. I'm not saying that I'm a better fighter than Ralph, but I do know that I could have seriously hurt him in the condition he was in. They let the women tackle each other and shit, but they wouldn't let three puny internet dorks in the ring at once? Thats just lame Mr. The Strand.

So where does all this put the room situation? According to the rules that we set before the fight, I was the winner. But to be quite honest I really feel like Ralph put up the best fight out of the three of us. If he was to complain (which seems unlikely because he stopped posting again) then I would consider giving him the victory. Greg has openly challenged me to fight again - and I would accept this challenge because I know that I could defeat him. But that fight would solve nothing. On the other hand fighting Ralph again would sort some stuff out. If he is down, then so am I. We could also forget about all of this one man bullshit and end this challenge the way we planned on starting it. With a three man bout on our own terms, at our own location, with our own gear. We would do it just before moving into the house, and it would solve the room situation once and for all. The offer is on the table kids, accept at your own risk.

You know what? I just thought of something. We could do the smart thing and never ever fight again....

Things learned:
1.) Never fight a man who has had brain surgery.
2.) Talk out your problems
3.) The world still isn't ready for three man boxing
4.) Greg isn't very good at boxing.
5.) Watching Greg lose his fight after talking so much shit was just as enjoyable as getting blown.
6.) People don't really respect you if you win a fight without really boxing
7.) Always carry a mouth guard
8.) Permanent marker doesn't come off the back so easy
9.) I'm a fucking pussy
10.) Jumping rope every day will get you in excelent shape.
11.) When the person who you just fought for 30 seconds runs out in the street to puke, you feel kinda bad for them
12.) People with TMJ shouldn't fight
13.) In the future we should only take on challenges that are under our complete control

It may not have went according to plan, but the challenge was still a ton of fun. I can now say that I am a boxer.

Thanks to: All of the typical crap readers, gatorade xtremo, all the bands I listened to while training (Andrew WK!), JD out at KCLB, my Mom and Dad (for not supporting this), everyone who came from out of town to catch the fight, my jumprope, beer, and my basic inner motivation - the need to make an ass out of myself in front of huge crowds.

Boxing Parallelogram
Posted by Ralph @ 06/17/2002 01:12:14 PM

When I was a sophomore in college, for some reason I decided to pledge a fraternity. To this day I'm still no really sure why I did it. It was an incredibly trying semester of my life. Pledging was filled with alcoholic binges, weird dancing, eating nasty concoctions, physical limit testing, brotherly bonding, and many other insane experiences. I recall every experience that I had that semester. Some of them were entirely the most embarassing and degrading things. For some reason, however I loved every minute. Throughout the pain, mental abuse, and insanity I held strong to eleven other guys doing the same exact thing and I came out a lifelong brother of Tau Kappa Epsilon. When asked what I thought of pledging, I will always respond with the same thing, "It was the best thing in my life that I would never do again." It's true too. If I could've gone back in time as knowledgable as I am now of the experience, I would do it all over again. If you asked me to do it a second time though, I'd punch you in the gut and run screaming like a sissy sally mary skirt.

I would consider this experience equivalent to the boxing match on Wednesday. I'm still not quite sure how I got involved in a boxing match with my two best friends. I can't recall how I agreed to do this either. It was an incredibly trying training. It was filled with alcoholic binges, weird dancing, eating nasty concoctions, physical punishment, brotherly bonding, and of course insanity. Being in the ring though I remembered every moment, and I loved them. I loved every physically abusive punch, every awkward swing I took, all the insanity. It was unbelievable. In the end I came out victorious. When asked to resond to the boxing match, I can only say, "It was one of the best times in my life, that I'd never want to experience again." I rethink the match a lot. I try to decide what I could've done and should've done. When it comes down to it, it was awesome. I'd do it again for sure...just not a second time. I think if asked to do it again, I'd punch you in the gut and run screaminf like a sissy sally mary skirt.

A bit disgusted
Posted by Ralph @ 06/17/2002 01:36:07 PM

Now that my internet is properly functioning again I've had the chance to read up on Greg and Brian's posts and I am perturbed. I was fully willing to say that Brian was the champion of the boxing challenge. I do regret backing out of the match. I should've gotten knocked out. I think the hardest part would've been knowing I was a superior fighter to Brian and being knocked out by him would've been more disgraceful. What my largest problem is that you both are well aware that I was the better fighter in this challenge, and yet Brian still denies that I would beat him in the ring under standard circumstances. Regardless of the challenges ramifications and mishaps, he knows I would destroy him. Yet, he still tries to come off as an internet boxing hero. Right I backed out of that particular match, but it had nothing to do with Brian's boxing waskills. It was mainly do to my overall fatigue, lack of vision, denial of rest and water between fights. Honestly, I would've beaten you that night if my cornerman weren't so negative about my well-being. His comment when entering the ring, "Stay away from him and throw your arms when you want to quit." I truely believe my victory was a solid one if only the ringman had told me I COULD NOT call "no mas" under any circumstance. If anyone ever needs proof of my superior boxing ability, I encourage them to Bring it On!

Notes to Brian and Ralph
Posted by Greg @ 06/17/2002 05:03:27 PM

Ralph: I'm not sure what you're referring to in your final post, although I completely follow the point of Brian being way too sure of his boxing prowess at this point. I've indicated repeatedly throughout my posts that although I think I fought decently (especially after viewing the tape a few times), you clearly were the better boxer, and I wouldn't want to face you again. I'd like to think that given the damage I did to you, you wouldn't want to face me again in the future either.

Brian: You've got to realize that although you were the night's coin toss champion, you're not even close to being the best fighter between the three of us. Ralph could kill either of us in the ring given a fair fight. Further, you've noted on your posts that you're not sure what point there would be in fighting me. The point would be me destroying you because you're all talk now that you're safe with your cheap victory. At least I stood in the ring and fought like a man for three rounds and took my loss; you stood in for mere seconds and won like a pussy. You saying that you could beat me just because Ralph beat me is like you saying that you could beat Mike Tyson just because Lennox Lewis beat Mike Tyson. I'll fight you anytime, anywhere, one-on-one, under any conditions.

Internet Public: Welcome to our madness.

Post Fight: Boxing Is Killing Us All
Posted by Brian @ 06/17/2002 09:15:18 PM

After reading some recent posts by Ralph and Greg I am reaching the obvious conclusion that this boxing match really is destroying our lives. Help us Mr. King. Help Us.