4:45 PM
From this point on my mind is yours. As I always state in a situation like this, I am not responsible for what I write. What I write now is truly what is inside my mind. Welcome… I’m excited to see what comes out this time.

4:36 PM
I took my last trip to the bathroom. My bladder is empty yet I still have not crapped at all today. That is going to be a major problem. Following my last true bathroom use for 20 hours I got in line and got my first 2 small coffees. I laughed in their faces. Lets do this.

4:41 PM
1st coffee down. Already feeling the caffeine.

4:47 PM
Bag lunches approved. Second coffee down. More coffee on the way.

4:51 PM
On to coffee number 3. I’m starting to giggle an awful lot. My mind is focused on my one true goal – to keep my bodily functions in check until dark.

4:54 PM
Thank god I brought my dick wench…

4:58 PM
“My people are alive…” – Greg
At this point Greg and I are both completely wasted. I’m hearing now that thunderstorms are forecasted for this evening. This may have a negative effect on my car sitting.

5:02 PM
“Dogs and marriage – everyone wins… except for Ralph who won’t get his enema.”

5:07 PM
Coffee #4 – Things are brewing inside me already. My ass doesn’t like me anymore. This may be a little tough on my insides.

5:18 PM
Ashley now knows that we are from the year 2013. I think we may be forced to kill her.

5:22 PM
Coffee #5 – This one is bigger. I’m starting to shake. When I ordered my coffee I started laughing out loud. I don’t think that they like us here anymore. In fact I don’t really enjoy this coffee anymore. I hope Ashley visits the site.

5:28 PM
When I reached out to shake Chris’ hand I noted that my hand was shaking tremendously. It was absolutely absurd. I can hardly write this. In fact I can hardly see the page. Sitting still is so hard…

5:32 PM
I have decided that this coffee establishment shall now be called “Starcocks”. Why? I have no idea…

I truly do have to crap right now. It’s starting to get extremely painful. Things feel much better when I put my right leg on the table. I think it’s because it closes off my brown eye. Damn that was disgusting. It’s only gonna get worse from here on out.

5:45 PM
We told the people at the counter that we were doing this challenge for our series on VH1. They believed it. Also they said that if we filmed in the store the manager would get fired. We promised them that we hadn’t… suckers. Coffee six is fucking huge. Gigantic… I’m in some deep trouble here.

5:51 PM
I’m such a whore. Everyone knows it.

5:54 PM
I’m in the zone now. I can drink this shit real fast. The only problem is that I already have to pee. Greg’s penis is magnificent.

5:59 PM
It’s a small world. Another person approached us and asked what we were doing. Turns out she was a writer for the Providence Journal. We told her that we were developing TC as a series for VH1. We also have her the website address. I hope she features us.

6:07 PM
All done. I’m fucking wasted.

6:13 PM
The very last time I get to turn on my car I am greeted by the Talking Heads. Same as it ever was.

6:15 PM
I’m set inside the car for good. This is so uncomfortable. Sitting hurts my insides. I’m never going to make it till dark.

6:17 PM
“Pretending will get us through this” – Ralph
When Greg makes me laugh it hurts my bladder so much. I hate him already.

I already want to do two things desperately:
1.) Sound the airhorn. I want to hear it so bad.
2.) Put my arm out the window. I feel trapped in here.
Note that peeing is not on that list.

6:24 PM
I think Marc’s mom is a pussy.

6:26 PM
I finally figured out how to make my seat recline. The problem is that when I leaned all the way back I instantly felt as if my bladder size was cut in half. I won’t be doing that again for quite some time.

6:31 PM
Looking in my rear view mirror I note that my pupils are absurdly tiny. Ralph keeps looking at me and laughing. The need to pee has become much, much stronger.

6:34 PM
The biggest challenge of this challenge so far is taking off my sandals without peeing. I’m breathing really quick and heavy now. I don’t know if it’s from the caffeine or my ¾ full bladder. I am actually concerned for my health right now.

6:39 PM
Greg and I are both in really bad shape now. This is not what I bargained for. Greg is pissing right now. We had our first historical airhorn. On top of all this I feel that Greg has officially went insane. He seriously thought about quitting. I laughed so hard and it hurt so much. I’m not gonna make it much longer.

6:45 PM
Trying to make up my mind here. Should I try to make it? Should I let it go? I think my new goal is to make it until water break.

7:02 PM
“The urine on my balls is burning me…” – Greg

Well we didn’t make it that long after all. People are here and they can’t believe their eyes. You the internet reader can see for yourself because we caught it all on tape. When Greg sounded the airhorn to signify a urination, I lost it. Every inch I moved was tremendous pain. I wanted to hold out but seeing Greg find ‘relief’ was unbraeable. I reached over to the passenger side and executed my well thought out plan. It was far harder than I anticipated. I reached over to the passenger side and started ripping off the seat cover. It was nearly impossible – every movement pushed my bladder to it’s limits. As I tore the seat cover time moved in extreme slow motion. I could hardly move my body but eventually I got the seat cover off. Even more challenging was getting over into the passenger seat. I came milliseconds away from pissing myself as I made the move. Once I was situated on the other side I draped my seat cover over my lap and took out my penis. An unexpected problem was the fact that I couldn’t find a direct line to the side of the door without pissing on my leg. It was also very tough to get started with Ralph hovering over me with a video camera. Every once and a while I wondered if we were filming some kind of fetish pornography or something. Once I started to go it felt so good (not counting the extreme pain I felt when I first opened the floodgates). When I laughed I would piss all over my leg. I think I pissed for about 20 minutes – and I think I have more where that came from. The crevice by my door is now a puddle of urine and apparently the piss has begun leaking out my door. This whole situation is kind of surreal at this moment.

7:21 PM
It seems as if I have won. I’m not quite sure what to say. Looks like I’m two for two with Typical Crap challenges. At least now I know that Greg is stupid enough to piss himself, and then soak in it while sitting in a hot car. I wonder what that tells us about him.

7:55 PM
The very second I came home I took a tremendous crap. I would have to assume I would have had to do that if I was in my car. Thank god it didn’t come to that.

8:32 PM
Completely oblivious to what I just went through, my Father just asked me if I wanted a coffee. Absurd

As it sit here right now I can smell the piss on my leg. I really need a shower. My mind is destroyed beyond belief. It may take me days to recover from this challenge.