Diruretic Doom Punishment: Part 1

On August 13th Greg and I (B-Rock) set out on a quest to complete Gre's Diuretic Doom punishment. His mission was to ask out 20 girls at the Providence place mall using a script that I provided. Early on I decided that the physical look of the script was just as important as the content. I wanted Greg not only to feel like an ass, but to look like one as well. I started with a bright green binder. I then proceeded to write the script by hand over 4 pages using my awful handwriting and a black marker. To top it all off I taped 4 balloons to the binder. Sadly only 2 made it to the mall. The death of balloon #3 was extremely traumatic. Read the script below in my ugly ass handwriting and take a look at the finished product.

         

Ugly huh? Once we got to the mall I wanted to give Greg a chance to warmup. On the way to our starting point he saw a couple that he knew, so he asked them out as a practice run. I practiced my camera work. Following that I suggested that Batman pick out his first victim. This led to Greg wandering around like a fool with a binder with balloons taped to it. He couldn't decide so I gave him his first assignment.

 

Before we move on to victim one I should clarify the procedure. Greg approaches his victim. When he points to the sky I run by and snap a photo (thats why some of these look blurry or shitty). Greg completes the script and if posible gets a phone number. Got it? On to victim number one. According to Greg she was friendly, and felt bad for Greg upon learning that he was being punished. When I ran by with the camera she didn't really have much of a reaction. Surprisingly she said yes to Greg and gave him a phone number. However the number was out of state and thus most likely fake. Her friend asked if Greg would ask her out also. Greg declined. So far greg is 1 for 1 with 2 points for a "yes".

Victim 2 was quite enjoyable. She was at a kiosk selling an "orgasmatron" type head massager. I suggested that Greg get the demo and then midway through launch into the script. When I came by with the camera mass insanity ensued. The victim turned away while yelling "no snapping pictures!!". If you look carefully in the picture below you can see her in the upper right corner running away (thats her ass right there). After the photo incident she rejected Greg outright. He noted that her "no" seemed to be a least slightly out of fear. That briings greg to 1 for 2 with 3 points total.

Next we proceeded to scope out or next victim when we were called over by the lady in the customer service booth. Instantly security was there as well. We tried our best to describe what we were doing, and we said that it was for school. We were told that we "can't go around asking people out at the mall". "Don't people always ask people out on dates while at the mall", I asked. Somehow she said that it was different because we were scaring people. I guess he didn't get the memo about it being all about the love. He said that if we had called it in ahead of time it would have been ok - which is completely absurd. I wonder who handles those calls. I can just see it now: "Uh, yeah, I want to wander around the mall in a bear costume. Is that ok?" The rest of the time that we were in the mall we were stalked by security. It felt like the Home Deopt all over again. They were on their walkie talkies and everything. After getting booted from Providence Place we attempted to try it again at the Warwick mall. I wouldn't wish that on Greg in a million years. I don't think he wants to date a 12 year old trailer trash drug user. We decided that we would regroup and try the Providence Place mall at a later date, sans balloons. On the way out of the mall Greg released the balloons into the sky, thus completeing the circle of life.