1. Full name: Gregory John DeSantis 2. Preferred fake name: Dr. Greg DeSamtos 3. Superhero name: The Batman 4. Birthdate: July 11, 1979 AD 5. Birthplace: Warwick, RI 6. Hair color: Black

8. Do you wash your hands after you go to the bathroom: Not if I was only peeing. Why bother?

9. Favorite flavor: Watermelon

10. Amount of time you can hold your breath: 2 Minutes, 10 Seconds

11. If you could lie about your average bowling score to any one celebrity, that celebrity would be: Bobby Fischer

12: Favorite professional foosball player: Uriné Ktoten

13. Most peaceful life experience: Flipping my van over on the highway

14. What kind of soap do you use: Dove

15. Least favorite liquid: Full-on diarrhea

16. The state in the continental USA you'd most want people to be residing in while viewing this bio: Montana

17. Movie character most aligned with your personality: Jack Nicholson's "Jack Torrance" in The Shining

18. Fill in the blank: Brothers by none

19: Three bands that are most worth a major loss of your hearing: Radiohead, Nirvana, Steely Dan

20. Age at which you'll start pretending to be senile: 62

21. Age at which you'll really be senile: 60

22. Favorite 3 holidays: Christmas, Rotary Day, Thanksgiving

23. If you were forced to play only one video game incessantly for all eternity, you would pick: Super Smash Bros. Melee (Gamecube)

24. Shoe size: 12

25: Favorite type of exercise: Medicine Ball

26. The way you'd like to die: I'd eat something cold, get intense brain freeze, let out a piercing scream, flip over backwards, land on my head, and snap my neck.

27. Least favorite sports team: The New York Yankees

28. Best lifestyle improv moment from the last month: Getting large amounts of children to believe that I'm a native Egyptian

29. Favorite place to perform: Probably the Perishable Theatre

30. Example of a time when your comedy went horribly wrong: Deep thoughts with Baw: For the uninitiated, we were performing a sketch comedy show at the AS220 in Providence, when the manager of the club alerted us to the fact that we only had 30 minutes left before the band was going to come on. Unfortunately, we were only a third of the way through the show and we'd already taken an hour to complete that third. We began frantically cutting skits, not realizing that we were cutting part two of a two-part skit called "Deep thoughts with Baw", and that without the second part, the first part (which we'd already performed) would make no sense. The crowd went home more confused than usual that night, which made it arguably our best show ever.

31. At what age did you learn that Santa Clause was a lie? My parents tell me that I was always told that Santa Claus was not real, but I never believed them and neither did my sisters. When I asked them when I realized that Santa Claus really wasn't real, my mom said 19 and my dad said 20.

32. Which Back Street Boy is the sexiest? AJ

33. What is your least favorite vegetable? Asparagus

34. What happened on the worst date you ever went on? I told a girl I loved her and she didn't reciprocate, leading to years of self-doubt and recluse.

35. Do you have a tattoo? If so, of what? If not, why not? No. Tattoos make old people look weird.

36. Have you ever farted out loud unintentionally in a crowded area? Where, and what happened? I fart constantly. If you smell something in my general area, then it was definitely me who farted. There are so many instances of this that I can't pick just one. Whenever I fart real good I burst out laughing, which causes awkward situations when at the movies.

37. Have you ever cromited? No.

38. What was your first job? I worked at Burger King for a year and a half- it was miserable, but decent work.

39. What was your GPA in High School? Somewhere around 3.0

40. Did you ever date or want to date a cheerleader? The cheerleaders at our high school were overall not the most attractive cheerleaders. The girls that danced along with the marching band at football games (the Westernettes and Falconettes) were much more pleasing to the eyes, which was all important in high school. So I guess no, not cheerleaders.

41. Have you ever eaten escargot? No, and I'm well aware of how I can avoid France.

42. Elvis or Beatles? The Beatles blow Elvis away and blow Elvis.

43. Complete this sentence: Your misfortune is our refund policy.

44. If you could have a piece of furniture upholstered in Contractor Bags, what would it be? Porch furniture

45. Do you have siblings? Yes

46. Which Political Party do you affiliate yourself with? Democratic, although I disagree with most of what each political party has to say.

47. Have you ever voted? Yeah a few times

48. At what age do you plan to marry? 27

49. What is the scariest thing that has ever happened to you? One time I was in Cancun and I somehow got lost on their transit system around 2 in the morning. I ended up out of the tourist area and in a slum-type area where I was clearly the outcast. I finally figured out enough Spanish to communicate with a guy on the street as to where I could get back on the bus to go to my hotel. Around that time some guys started walking briskly, then running after me as I began running from them. I made it onto the bus about 20 seconds before they would have caught me. It's the fastest I've ever run.

50. If you could donate one million dollars to a philanthropic society or charity, which would it be? Probably to some foreign relief fund, but I'm not sure which one.

51. What are you going to be for Halloween this year? Gargamel from the Smurfs

52. Pepsi or Coke? Refreshing Pepsi-cola, the choice of the new generation. Although Coke is it. Actually, I don't really like drinking soda.

53. Stolen from Fight Club, but great question: If you could fight any historical figure, who would you fight? Aaron Burr, or perhaps Tony McAllister, our nation's 4th president.

54. If it was OK to punch a woman, which female celebrity would you punch in the face? Courtney Love. Then I'd tie her up and refuse to let her go until she signed away all rights to Kurt's songs. Then I'd leave her tied up anyway.

55. Do you have any pets? Yes, our dog Cinders is about 25 years old now, although he doesn't really live in the house anymore. He roams the fields and sometimes you can hear him howling at night.

56. So far, which challenge has been the most enjoyable? Eating PB+F for a week will probably always be the best, as it was my maiden voyage.

57. If you could change the past, what one major world event would you change? I'd probably just remove the Vietnam war in its entirety.

58. Do you floss daily? I try to, but you be making me laugh.

59. Thrifty or Spend-thrift? Spend-thrift

60. Do you sing in the shower? Usually, but not if I'm the first one up. And it's more of a screaming than a singing.

61. Which do you enjoy more, Hockey or Baseball? Oooh.... Sorry Lisa. Baseball.

62. If you could wake up a famous/powerful person tomorrow, who would you be? Casey Kasem

63. Do you like to cook? Yes

64. Slob or Neat-nik? Slob usually

65. What is your favorite breakfast cereal? Grape Nuts Flakes

66. Who do you admire most? My parents

67. If you saw somebody drop five bucks on the ground, would you pocket it, or chase the person down and give it back to them? How far away are they? Five dollars is not much money for a lot of running. I guess if they're reasonably close, I'll chase them down.

68. Who would you rather have clean your front seat after the Diruetic doom...Barbara Streisand or Celine Dion? Celine Dion is my favorite singer.

69. Is there anything that you're doing right now as you answer these questions that you would like to share with your readers? I'm eating cereal and thinking about girls I love.

70. When you answered these questions, did you tell the truth? The Truth? You're talking about Marc? No I didn't tell him yet.

After the completion of each challenge the winner shall write 10 new bio questions to be added to this very file. Check back for more than you ever wanted to know about us.