The Challenge: Urinate in your own face while standing up

The Challenger: Brian

The Reward: One US dollar

The Punishment: None

The Story: I tend to get involved in crazy one dollar bets with the Cranston crew. The bets range from instant satisfaction, to a payoff 5 years down the line. I'm a college graduate - I can waste a dollar on stupid bets. Anyway, as we were over Greg's house to watch "Beneath The Planet Of The Apes" I got myself involved in an interesting one. Maybe it was watching all those monkeys, but I reached the conclusion that I could piss in my own face while standing up. The consensus throughout the room was that it could not be done. They said that it defies gravity. What they didn't know is that I took two and a half years of Physics - gravity is my pal (FYI - gravity is also 'bitchin'). Regardless of all that gravity bullshit I now had until wed. to piss in my own face while standing erect. If I could do this successfully I would win a nice crisp, clean, one dollar bill.

My plan was to attempt this in the shower first thing in the morning when I had to pee extremely bad. I also thought that a mild erection could help things along. I took a few days to think about my strategy, and then one morning before a road trip to New Jersey I gave it a shot. When I woke up in the morning I had to pee - but that wasn't going to be good enough. I instead waited an hour until I really, really had to pee. When I just about couldn't take it anymore I hopped in the shower, turned on the water and gave it a shot. When the flood gates opened I came up short by a discouraging distance. I had little time and was forced to think fast. With the mind of a hawk (or an even smarter bird) I leaned forward a bit and angled my peeing device upwards at an even higher angle. Still no 'luck'. My last ditch involved focusing all my energy to my bladder to be transfered into some high velocity peeing. Thanks to that innovation I was able to post the following on my weblog:

"They Said It Couldn't Be Done"

Two things worth noting:
1.) I don't suggest that anyone kiss me for a few days.
2.) Greg - you owe me a dollar

That afternoon at the party in New Jersey my housemate mike would repeatedly cut into conversations I was having and suggest that I tell everyone what I did that morning. My response each time was "I woke up, had a glass of juice, and then I pissed in my own face while standing up." Each time I said it I became more proud of myself. Now that's Typical Crap.